Don’t take it personally

It’s not easy to keep cool when your child has disrespected you but if you react with anger it send a wrong message. It seems impossible but it is good to take deep breath and relax before taking any decision. Do not let them see you mad. Instead of allowing yourself to feel hurt and angry be clear and direct with your child. Always tell them that their behavior is wrong and also know that you are in control and you need to set the limits. You are in charge and your child depends on you to the lead the way.

Be prepared

You should know that some and rude behavior is expected in your kids at some certain stages so you need to be prepared for it. Remember you don’t need to attend every fight or power struggle your children invite you to. Children tend to be more disrespectful if you haven’t sent the limits around their behavior. Once you have set a limit and it is disrespected do not enter into power struggle, let them realize they are wrong. Always draw a line on disrespectful behavior and let your kids know. Remember it is good to set limits when everyone calm than in the heat of the moment.

Avoid power struggle at all costs.

Once there is a power struggle and you keep it on then you have lost. Your job as a parent is to teach your child how to behave differently. As parents you tend to get mad with your kids and end up getting into heated arguments with them. The appropriate thing to do is prepare yourself so that in case it happens again you plan ahead so that you might decide to give a consequence for the behavior and then have a discussion afterwards. Your children have to get the message.

Be determined

If you want things to be different you have to insist on it and not default. Its hard at first but you will like the change. Remember it is your job as parents to teach your children in a respectful way how to deal with problems. Be a good teacher and coach by teaching your kids respect and how to manage frustration. You coach them and encourage them when they get it right, and you set limits when they get it wrong.

WHAT THE LAW SAYS.

• A contract of service can be in writing or oral.

• House helps are entitled to a minimum salary of Ksh 12926.55 per month

• The employer is obligated by the Employment Act 2007 to keep the employment records of his or her employees.

• Employers are deemed by courts not to have paid salaries if they fail to produce receipt.

• An employee is entitled to payment of salary/wages that is not below statutory minimum wage, house allowance or alternative appropriate accommodation.

• Termination of employment through issuing of one month notice, notification to the labour union or office payment of all accrued leave days and severance pay. Reasons for termination must be given and proper procedures for termination must be employed.

The following amounts shall be charged for offences:

1. The amount charged for sexual harassment of house help is sh 1.2 million.

2. The amount charged for dismissal of worker over the phone is Sh 329,627.

3. The amount charged for sacking a househelp for falling sick is Sh 191,000.

4. The amount charged for firing a house help for being pregnant is sh 73000.

5. The amount charged for failure to put sacking in writing is sh 49500.

Visit the preschool

It is a good idea to visit your child’s intended school with them when it is on session. Meet the class teacher and introduce your child. You can also allow the child to play and observe the room so as to get acquainted before reporting. If not possible during the weekday make out time for the weekends and remember to explain to your child what happens in a school setting.

Take advantage of teachable moments

Children are naturally curious hence this will make teaching them easy. Find some time during the day to teach them a few lessons about life. Parents can teach them how to serve others or one another as through this they learn empathy. Learning can occur naturally but parents can also help in the learning process.

Fine- Tune fine motor skills

Create fun craft activities e.g coloring, gluing, modeling that will help the children develop fine motor skills. While modeling they can form shapes and letters this also prepares them in their handwriting when they join school.

Set up daily chores

Teach your children how to do thing for themselves. They can clear their plate from the table, dress up themselves, put their toys in the right place and also participate in other house hold duties that you as a parent see it fit for them. Always give support and encouragement when the chores are completed.

Make time for reading

It is good for parents to create time and read to their children since it enhances vocabulary and provides imaginative experiences that help them to be creative in daily life. As a parents also read books concerning preschool to enable you to be able to cope and understand your kids well.

Look out for separation anxiety

It is perfectly normal for children to experience separation anxiety especially in the first few days or weeks of joining school. Parents should be prepared for some tears but it is good to stay positive so that your child does not notice any anxious feels from you about leaving them in school. The best way to avoid the tears is always tell them what to expect as they your taking them to school and remind them that you will be back for them.

NOTE: WHEN YOUR CHILD ADJUSTS TO THE NEW SCHOOL SETTING, GOODBYES WILL BE MUCH EASIER

Humility

Parents want their children to be successful in their lives. They should be humble foremost. A child can be proud of their success but not show it off especially around people who don’t have what they have or are not as successful as them. They should also learn to acknowledge their mentors or role models rather than be arrogant achievers.

Contentment

Your child should be ambitious, strive to achieve their goals and aims in life but at the same time learn to be happy and content with what they are able to achieve. Having an ambition is important when they want succeed but being over ambitious mostly leads to being unhappy.

Honesty

Children should learn about telling the truth as it makes them a reliable individual. Most children fear being honest because they don’t know the consequences. Telling the truth does not mean that they will share their opinion about everything. They should have the courage to face the results of their actions and this helps them keep honesty as a priority.

Independence

Children should learn to do as many things as possible for themselves as much as they can. Let them try and plan ahead by themselves without counting on others for assistance. This makes them able and stronger but when they get stuck they can also ask for help. The essence is to learn from every attempt and get better on the next.

Respect

Children learn respect from how we as parents treat them. Parents are role models for their children hence they tend to emulate you by reflecting back on what we do or say. They should learn to respect themselves and others.

Courage

Learning anything means approaching the unknown, and stepping up to new challenges. It is ok to try and fail but never give up. Children should have the courage to face new challenges ahead of them and turn away from distractions. Parents should teach their children to believe in themselves and that they are able to do anything as long as they try and don’t give up.

Dust Your House

Dust each room, including the topsides of all the furniture, undersides of shelves, and all handrails, as well as picture frames and TV screens. When it’s possible to dry-dust, do it.  Getting something wet makes it harder.  This will lower allergens and improve the air quality in your house. Dampened cloths tied to the ends of mops and brooms work great for removing cobwebs.

Cleaning tip: Look up top. “People don’t dust up on the very top of furniture, and that’s where all the dust collects and then falls off,”

Clean Furniture Fabric

Go through the house and strip and remake beds; neaten any pillows or furniture blankets. Brush furniture surfaces with a vacuum extension as needed. Every now and then, some wooden furniture needs a good waxing.

Clean Mirrors and Glass

Wipe down mirrors and windows throughout the house. Use one damp microfiber cloth, followed by one dry cloth in wiping cleans all the mirrors and glass surfaces.

Cleaning tip: Using one wet and one dry microfiber cloth won’t leave streaks.

Clean Surfaces

Wipe down all surfaces and counters throughout the house, disinfecting as necessary.  You should disinfect some of those surfaces, particularly the ones that might deliver germs to people’s fingers and faces.

Cleaning tip: Be sure to wipe down all places that fingers touch, like door handles, light switches, TV remotes and phones. “Those are the places that people forget, and they really hold germs.

Clean the Kitchen and Bathroom

Walk through and spray cleaner on tubs, sinks and toilets. Return and scrub. Then, in the kitchen, wipe down the inside of the microwave, and cabinet and appliance doors.

Clean Floors

Sweep, then mop or scrub the bathroom and kitchen floors, and any other floor that needs it.  Start mopping from the farthest corner of the room and move backwards towards the doorway (that is, don’t mop yourself into a corner).

Cleaning tip: “Always do bathroom floors on your hands and knees with a microfiber cloth and cleanser.”That’s how you know that you got every corner, even behind toilets, and that they’re 100% disinfected.”

Vacuum the House

Vacuum your way out the bedrooms, down the stairs, through the living room and out of the house,” This is very important if you have a carpeted house just to ensure you have a dust free house. It is also good to change sheets in a room before you vacuum this helps in maintaining freshness.

• DON’T PAY THEM THE MINIMUM! PAY THEM MUCH BETTER!
In Kenya, at the moment (26th October 2018) the minimum wage of payment for house helps is Ksh 12,926.55. Always try as much as possible to adhere to this law as most househelps send money to their families and also want to save some for them.

• INVEST FOR THEM
If capable set money aside for your helpers monthly, on top of their salaries or agree with them to set a small amount aside for themselves. This allows the helpers to have forced savings for future needs.

• INCREASE EVERY YEAR.
Most employees get an increment every year, so why not your househelp? If you keep your househelp for long and you like the work she does then giving an increment in salary should not be a problem.

• FEED THEM WELL.
This sounds ridiculous to say, but it is common to have a separate menu for helpers. In most cases this is what may cause your house help to pilfer because they are not satisfied. Unless you’re eating a different meal due to your dietary needs then it is good to accommodate the help in your meal plans.

• DON’T BE DEPENDENT ON THEM TO SERVE YOU.
Do not expect the house help to do everything for you, show them know that you can take care of the kids and the home on your own. It will certainly be difficult if this became the reality. But the point is to show them that you are not asking them to do what you can’t do yourself.

• DAYS OFF.
If possible ensure your house help has a day off once a week. Some prefer to accumulate their days and do 3 consecutive days off in a month; in which if that is the case

• TEACH YOUR CHILDREN TO RESPECT YOUR HELPERS.
Do not allow your kids to shout, hit, or command the househelp. If they need something they have to ask politely. Better yet, if they can do it for themselves, let them do it. Teach your children to be responsible and not to be overly dependent on the help.

• COMMUNICATE CORE VALUES & BELIEFS.
Every family has core values and beliefs it lives by, which make it able to survive and thrive. Communicate these to your helpers by modeling them and explaining their application in day-to-day scenarios.

• LET GO OF THE BAD SEED.
There are some helpers who refuse to change and get along with others. They also cause conflict because they are contentious and gossipers. s. You have to let such like people go if they do not improve because they infect and hurt others, spoiling the dynamic of good working relationships. The better thing to do in these instances is to let them go.

IF YOU HAVE IDEAS TO SHARE ON HOW YOU RELATE WITH YOUR HELPERS THAT CAN SERVE AS A BENEFICIAL TIP FOR OTHERS, PLEASE SUGGEST THEM!

Here you are, you found a nanny job that fits you. How do you keep it? How do you become the all-star nanny that every parent finds indispensable? Here are some tips to help you understand how to be a good nanny.

Be On Time!

Your employer is counting on you. Learn to be punctual and flexible especially on time as most employers are keen. Once given the time to report always adhere to it and in case of any inconvenience, be sure to mention before you commence working. Do not interfere with the parent’s program. Try as much as possible to maintain a good working and cordial relationship.

No Fibbing.

Call as soon as you know that you are running late, or will not be able to work due to illness. Plan your personal days. Do not call in sick at the last minute the day after a concert; ask for that day off with ample notice. Your employer plans his/her professional schedule around your work; they need time to shuffle commitments too. Be honest and up front. Dishonesty is the single biggest reason a nanny loses her job.

Anticipate and communicate.

Running low on diapers? Used up the last of the milk? Let your boss know. Need to schedule a routine doctor’s appointment. Ask your employer before you schedule if there are times that might work better for them unless it’s an emergency. Don’t walk into work and announce you need to leave the next day for a scheduled appointment. This impacts your employer’s work and career too!

Be Positive.

A smile and cheery attitude is contagious. Every job will have challenges at times. Before bringing a problem to your boss, consider possible solutions. Propose the solution that you feel works best, and be open to your employer’s point of view. If you have a problem and just want to complain, moan and groan to a friend instead.

Don’t gossip

Respect your employer’s confidentiality. Never post anything on social media that you would be embarrassed if your employer knew. Don’t post photos of your employer’s property unless you have been given permission to.

Recognize Opportunities to Help

Always volunteer when you can. You can offer to pick up or do some shopping at the market when you are out for a walk. Leave your employer a note or add to the family grocery list anything that is missing. Offer to prepare a simple at times even if it is not in your to-do list.

Respect Boundaries!

It is important to remember that, you are NOT a member of the family, it is a job. Behaviors, attitudes and issues appropriate for discussion in your private home with your family need to stay there. Don’t bring your fights to the workplace, and don’t interfere or in any way comment on the relationship between your boss and the family. Boundary issues are a two-way street. Sometimes it is you or the employer who is crossing the line.

Not Your Job?

In every job YOU occasionally need to do something that is not your job. If it truly is a once-in-a-while kind of thing, do the task without complaint. When your employer asks you to do something a little out of the ordinary, do not take offence and never say to your boss that it is not in your job description to do it.

It’s All about Attitude

A flexible “can do” attitude is valued in an employee. Life is not predictable all the time. An employee who is adaptable and capable of adjusting to a last minute change of plans is a treasure.

This post is from Nairobi Nanny, a company that offers experienced house managers and nannies. For more information email us on info@nairobinanny.com or call +254708518470.

These are the different types of sleep training techniques:

1. Teaching your baby to self-settle or self soothe-this means teaching your little one how to fall asleep on his own without needing your help.

2. Gradual retreat, or ‘disappearing chair’– this technique is best for parents who want to be in the room with their little one as he learns how to fall asleep on his own. It provides a more gentle approach to baby sleep training.

3. Controlled crying– this is an (often controversial) form of sleep training, where you allow your baby to cry for short, specified periods of time before going in to offer comfort.

4. Pick up, put down -this approach means that once you’ve officially put your little one to bed, you pick your baby up when they start fussing and put them down once they are falling asleep again.

5. ‘No cry’ approach -the ‘no cry’ approach doesn’t mean that your sleepy baby will never cry, but means that you remain with them to comfort them or at least take a flexible approach to bedtimes.

In previous research done it appears that some parents prefer to use the ‘No cry’ approach. This is a better approach as most parents don’t want to frustrate their kids when sleep training. Here are some practical tips in finding a no tear solution:

• Establish a regular nap schedule. A consistent sleep routine during the daytime helps regulate nighttime sleep.

• Put your baby to bed on the early side, such as 6:30 or 7 o’clock. Do not fall into the trap of keeping your baby awake so that they will be more tired. An overtired baby may actually have a harder time getting to sleep. Some experts say babies who go to bed earlier sleep longer, too.

• Make changes slowly. If your baby is on a later schedule, do not suddenly move bedtime from, say, 9:30 to 7 o’clock. Make bedtime a little earlier each night until you reach the time that seems best for your baby.

• Find a soothing bedtime routine and stick to it. For example, a bath, then a book, then a lullaby, then bed, at the same time every night.

• Develop some keywords to signal to your child that it is time for sleep. It could be a simple “ssshhhh” sound or a softly spoken phrase like “It is sleep time.” Repeat the sound or phrase when you’re soothing your child to sleep or back to sleep so they will associate it with bedtime.

• Create a comfortable sleep environment that is tailored to your child. Some babies need more quietness and darkness than others. Soft music or nature sounds can be soothing.

• Do not respond to every noise your child makes. Learn to distinguish a real cry from a sleepy whimper. If you’re not sure, it is okay to wait for a minute outside the door so you will not disturb them if they are actually asleep.

This post is from Nairobi Nanny, a company that offers experienced house managers and nannies. For more information email us on info@nairobinanny.com or call +254708518470.

Potty training is often regarded as one of the most difficult aspects of the early years of parenting. Potty training a toddler will never be as simple as 1, 2, and 3. Moms venture forth, fearing the worst, while their little ones leave a trail of damage in their wake. You may be making your life more difficult by committing one of these common potty training mistakes:

Mistake #1: Pushing Kids Before They Are Ready.

The biggest mistakes parents make in potty training are related to not understanding the basic principles that the child must first be able to control their potty functions, and then has to want to. Without both parts there, the child cannot be potty trained.

Quick Fix: Make sure your child is already expressing an interest in going on the potty before you coax them along. Signs to look for are that they are interested and uncomfortable. By interest, it means they follow you into the bathroom to watch you pee and flush. And by uncomfortable, it means they dislike wearing a dirty diaper and ask through actions or words to have it changed.

Mistake #2: Not Waiting Until You Are Ready.

If you are not interested in waking up at 2 a.m. to change the sheets, clean the rugs where the urine is soaking in, clean poop off of everything, and do five loads of laundry a day, well, you might want to wait to potty train. The reason: Potty training is a messy, time-consuming, needs commitment, so you need all hands on deck. If a busy work project is breathing down your neck, you may be tempted to ditch potty training halfway through and fall back into diaper mode. This is confusing to kids and will make the road to success a much more prolonged.

Quick Fix: Choose a potty-training time when you won’t have many other pressing responsibilities, like over Christmas or holidays, or a long weekend at least. That way, you can be at home and devote your undivided attention to the task.

Mistake #3: Switching Back To Diapers At Bedtime, On long Drives, Or Other Moments When It’s Just Easier.

Often parents want to potty train until bedtime when they often resort back to diapers or pull-ups. But when you switch back and forth, the child loses the experience of being wet/pooped on/uncomfortable and is getting mixed messages. Same goes for inconvenient times like long road trips or family events like weddings. While it’s tempting to go back to diapers, consistency matters. When the panties go on, it’s forever.

Quick Fix: Skip the diapers or pull-ups at bedtime and get a few plastic mattress liners instead. Avoid planning potty training around big social events or when you travel, or if you must, pack plenty of extra outfits to whip out in case of accidents, and take your child to the bathroom hourly to keep such calamities at bay.

Mistake #4: Using Regular Underwear.

You know your kids will probably be excited to wear “big kid” underwear. The problem is the material is so thin that your child’s accidents will go right through them.

Quick Fix: Get thick training underwear. We want them to feel the sensation of urine, but we want to avoid flooding our house. Have many sets ready to go; you will need them.

Mistake #5: Giving Out Stickers Or Other Rewards.

It is not always fun giving rewards, especially when we are doing something that is not necessarily amazing. It is just a natural part of life. Here is what can go wrong with rewards for every trip to the toilet: Your kid may decide to work the system by going to the bathroom every five minutes. Or the day you do not have a reward, they will throw a fit, then regress to peeing in their pants out of spite.

Quick Fix: Praise your kid when he uses the potty by saying, “Good job!” or “Thank you for using the potty.” Children are naturally excited and proud of using the bathroom on their own. Your job is to cheer them on.

Mistake #6: Not Keeping An Eye Out For Signals.

Kids will not just come up and say, “Time to go to the potty!” The signs are much more subtle. One of the most common mistakes is for the parent to not follow through when the child gives the signal. Every child’s signal is different, although it often assumes the form of a squat, dance, or holding of the genital area. Whatever the signal is, they can be easy to miss if you are distracted, busy, or just not aware of what it is. It is your job as a parent to teach your child to tune in to the signs and head to the bathroom when they crop up.

Quick Fix: First, pinpoint the signs your child displays when they have to go. Then watch for them like a hawk and, once you spot them, take your child to the bathroom and set your child on the toilet. After several times, the child will make the association between the urge to go and the toilet and will naturally go there.

Mistake #7: Getting Upset Over Accidents.

Shaming a child for accidents can bring about fear of humiliation. This fear, in turn, may convince the child to hold it in even when he is seated on a toilet. This defeats the purposes of potty training and turns it into a much more emotional ordeal for all involved.

Quick Fix: Accidents happen! It’s not a problem. Tell them to remember to go to the potty sooner the next time.

This post is from Nairobi Nanny, a company that offers experienced house managers and nannies. For more information email us on info@nairobinanny.com or call +254708518470.