TIPS ON BUILDING A BETTER EMPLOYER–HELPER RELATIONSHIP

14 Jan TIPS ON BUILDING A BETTER EMPLOYER–HELPER RELATIONSHIP

If you’ve been online lately, you’ve probably seen the memes: “Is DMS reporting back after leave or not?” Transfer season is here, and with it comes anxiety, humour, and very real challenges for both employers and domestic helpers.

At Nairobi Nanny, , we see this season every year. Contracts end, families relocate, helpers reassess their options, and expectations on both sides are tested. Behind the memes are real households disrupted and real workers making difficult decisions. This blog draws from lived experiences, last year’s Nairobi Nanny Google call discussions, and the realities of domestic work in Kenya to explore why helpers sometimes don’t return, what employers can do better, and how helpers can uphold professionalism, especially during transfer season.

Our core belief is simple: care works best when we work together.

Understanding Transfer Season

Transfer season is a period when domestic workers move between employers, renew contracts, or exit roles altogether. Itoften coincides with long leave periods, school calendar changes, relocations, or end-of-year transitions. While it is normal and legal for workers to change jobs, the manner in which transitions happen can either strengthen or damage trust within the sector.

When a helper does not return from leave without communication, employers feel

abandoned and anxious. When a helper feels unheard, overworked, or unsafe, leaving quietly can feel like the only option. Bridging this gap requires honesty, structure, and mutual respect.

Why Some Helpers Do Not Return to Work After Leave

While every situation is unique, several recurring themes emerged during our community conversations

 

Domestic work is physically and emotionally demanding. Long hours, unclear job scopes, and limited rest can lead to deep fatigue. When leave finally comes, some helpers realise they cannot return to the same conditions.

1. Burnout and Exhaustion

Unresolved Workplace Conflict

Issues around communication style, discipline, workload, boundaries, or respect often go unaddressed. Over time, resentment builds. Without safe channels for discussion, non-return becomes an avoidance strategy.

3. Poor or Unclear Contracts

Many domestic work arrangements rely on oral agreements. When expectations differ—on pay, hours, duties, or leave—conflict arises. Lack of written contracts makes both enforcement and accountability difficult.

4. Better Opportunities Elsewhere

Transfer season is also recruitment season. Some helpers receive offers with better pay, clearer terms, or improved living conditions. Without proper notice or closure, this fuels mistrust.

5. Family and Personal Emergencies

Illness, childcare responsibilities, bereavement, or sudden financial pressures can make returning impossible. These realities require empathy, but also communication.

6. Fear of Difficult Conversations

Some helpers fear confrontation, disciplinary action, or being accused of ingratitude. Silence feels safer than honesty, even though it has long-term consequences.

Care Works Best When We Work Together

During last year’s Google call, several critical issues were raised that both employers and helpers must pay attention to if we want healthier working relationships.

1. The Importance of Employment Contracts

All parties should have a clear employment contract outlining:

• Duration of work (hours, days, months)
• Salary and payment schedule
• Duties and boundaries
• Disciplinary procedures
• Leave entitlements
• Written contracts protect both employer and helper and reduce misunderstandings. .

 

   2. Fair Pay and Minimum Wage Compliance

Employers are legally required to adhere to the minimum wage. While we acknowledge economic pressures on households, underpayment contributes to dissatisfaction, instability, and sudden exits.

 

3.Fair Working Conditions

Helpers are entitled to:

• At least one full rest day (24 consecutive hours) per week
• 21 working days of annual leave with full pay
• Paid maternity leave (3 months) and paternity leave (2 weeks)
• Sick leave where applicable

 

4. Housing Allowance for Live-Out Helpers

Live-out domestic workers should receive a housing allowance. This is often overlooked, yet it is a legal and ethical obligation.

 

5. Lawful and Fair Termination

 

Termination of contracts must be fair, lawful, and follow due process:

• Formal notice (2 weeks to 1 month)
• A fair hearing before termination
• Termination backed by evidence, not emotion or hearsay
• Agencies and employers alike have a responsibility to understand and respect these processes.

 

      6.Safe Working Environments

Domestic workers have the right to a safe workplace free from:

 

• Violence
• Harassment
• Abuse

 

Employers should also provide protective equipment—gloves, masks, overalls—especially when handling cleaning agents or hazardous materials.

 

Challenges in Enforcing the Domestic Workers Act

 

1. Despite clear laws, enforcement remains difficult due to:
2. Domestic work taking place in private households, outside public scrutiny
3. Over reliance on oral contracts
4. Limited access to labour inspections in homes
5. Unequal power dynamics driven by income and education gaps
6. Lack of transparent and documented payment systems
7. These gaps leave both employers and helpers vulnerable when disputes arise.

 

 

Responsibilities That Go Both Ways

Healthy working relationships require effort from both sides.

 

For Employers:

Strive for respectful communication

• Put measures in place for workplace injuries and emergencies
• Make statutory deductions where applicable (NSSF, SHA)
• Keep clear records: leave, pay, M-Pesa or bank statements, warning letters
• Seek qualified legal advice when in doubt

For Helpers:

 

• Honour workplaces as professional environments—households are offices
• Respect boundaries (disciplining children, dress, privacy, social media use)
• Avoid gossiping or exposing employers’ homes and families online
• Communicate challenges early and respectfully
• Professionalism protects everyone.

Advice to Helpers During Transfer Season

 

• Transfer season does not remove your responsibility to act professionally.
• Give ample notice if you are not returning to work
• Uphold agreements made with your employer, including return dates
• Answer calls and messages, especially around leave ending
• If circumstances change, communicate promptly and honestly
• Ending well safeguards your reputation, references, and future opportunities.

Advice to Employers During Transfer Season

 

Confirm leave and return dates in writing

Discuss expectations before leave begins

Check in respectfully during leave, without harassment

Reflect honestly on whether working conditions encourage return

Sometimes non-return is a signal worth listening to.

 

Beyond the Memes: Choosing Better Outcomes

The memes may make us laugh, but they point to deeper structural and relational issues within domestic work. Transfer season does not have to be chaotic or painful. With clear agreements, lawful practices, empathy, and accountability, it can be a time of healthy transition rather than crisis.

 

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